Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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