i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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