some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
