shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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