I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
