yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
