Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
