Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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