So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
