She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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