return my video game
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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