So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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