If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
