he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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