yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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