Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
