Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
