when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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