First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
