I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
