i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
