no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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