I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
