my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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