Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
