i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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