Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
