90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
