If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
