enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize