He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
