i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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