I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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