so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
