do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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