another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
