Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
