So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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