Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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