hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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