would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
