hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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