Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
