i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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