Your face is a jimmy john
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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