So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The air was thick with penises
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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