I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
