Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
