he wants to bone in the snuggie
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
