I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
