Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
