That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize