BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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