I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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