I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
