Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
