doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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