Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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