my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize