Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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