my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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