You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
