You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
