new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
