I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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