I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
