i think my tv is drunk
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
